Lynn Gold (figmo) wrote,
Lynn Gold

Long-ish relationship meme

Shamelessly snarfed from firecat and serenejournal.

*what is your current relationship status? I'm involved with one incredible guy.
*what is your sexual orientation? (if you don't mind me asking)? "Gag-me-with-a-tire-iron" straight.
*what character traits do you look for in a potential interest? Someone with whom I can be myself, and who neither bores nor annoys me on a regular basis.
*what sort of people do you like, as far as what they're interested in in life? Anyone who's interested in something, preferably intellectual in nature. I have a hard time relating to folks into spectator sports and little else.
*what physical traits do you look for in a potential interest? Taller than me (hey, I'm only 5'2"!), clean, groomed
*what kind of fashion-sense attracts you? I like it when my SO knows how to dress himself. Wear colors that don't clash horribly. Wear what's right for the occasion, please? Don't wear formal stuff to dig in the garden, and don't wear jeans to a black-tie affair.
*what kind of hair style do you find attractive on a potential mate? Clean. Beyond that, I kind of prefer his hair be shorter than mine.
*what is the usual age range you look at? Around mine to up to eight years older.
*what traits turn you off? Rudeness, intolerance of me or my friends, prejudice.
*do you prefer to date various people, or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly? Gads -- I hate dating around and prefer to have just one partner. More than that and I feel spread too thin.
*are you afraid to ask people out on dates? Yup. I've done it, and I've never been successful at it.

single life
*if you're single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship? Not applicable
*what are the positive points about being single? It beats being involved with a jerk.
*what are the negative points about being single? Being lonely and horny, getting into bad relationships when desparate.
*when single, do you often find youself longing for companionship? Sometimes
*how well do you handle rejection? Mediocre.
*do you miss your last sweetie? Not really. After learning he molested his daughter and beat up several other sweeties of his, I am glad he has disappeared from my life.
*do you think it's better to look for love, or let it find you? How you get it isn't as important as getting it.

when you're in a relationship
*if you're currently in a relationship right now, how long have you been in it? A little over seven years. If you count our first date, it's going on eight.
*what's the longest relationship you've been in? The one I'm in now.
*the shortest? One week. That one ended with a breakup celebration. We realized it didn't work unless we were both drunk out of our gourds, so we mutually decided to end things before we got too involved, but since I had my place to myself that Saturday, we decided to end it with flourish. :-)
*what are the positive points about being in a relationship? Security, love, comfort, companionship, stability.
*what are the negative points about being in a relationship? You can't drink milk from the carton (not that I would anyway...).
*have you ever gone out with someone you didn't know very well? yes
*have you ever gone out with someone you had a crush on? yes
*have you ever gone out with someone who had a crush on you? yes
*what is an example of an ideal, perfect day with your sweetie? We both wake up not too late and feeling well, set goals for the day and achieve them, then end the day with a nice dinner. (We are both anal-retentive achievers.)
*how important is it to you to know the exact status of your relationships (ie "dating", "going steady", etc)? very
*do you think couples should spend a very large amount of time together, or space things out a tad? Whatever works for them.
*have you ever found yourself worried about commitment? Yes
*when involved, do you try to think about the here-and-now, or do you often think about the future? Mostly here-and-now, but also the future.
*how do you prefer to handle disagreements? Talk them out when possible. If his cyst is interfering, I try to let it go.
*when in a fight, it is better to euphemize things to soften the hurt, or should one be blunt? It depends upon the situation.
*how do you feel when your mate is mad at you and won't tell you why? Angry.

*do you have a crush right now? Yes -- on my sweetie. :-)
*do they know? Yup.
*what's the longest period of time you've ever had a crush? About nine years (I'm counting back to the day we met).
*have you ever confessed your feelings to a crush? Yes
*has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you? Yes
*do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush? Not unless they don't know the person; otherwise, it's embarassing and I keep it to myself.
*how do you feel about long-distance relationships? They have their good points.
*have you ever pined for someone when you're not around them? Yes.
*would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? Yes
*what would you do if you got pregnant / made her pregnant while in a relationship? I wouldn't bring a kid into the world out of wedlock, but that's my personal choice.
*would you get involved with someone if they were previously married? Yes.
*how big of an issue is your mate's morals, to your compatibility? They need to be compatible with mine.
*how big of an issue is political beliefs, to your compatibility? Moderate. I mostly care that they don't force me into a corner.
*how big of an issue is religion to your compatibility? Moderate. They have to accept me as-is. Someone with contempt for my religion is not acceptable.
*how big of an issue to you is your mate's ethnicity? Issue? I thought that's what makes a person interesting!
*in a potential mate, how important is conversation to you? Very. If you and the potential mate can't chat for at least an hour without either of you getting bored, you don't have a relationship.
*in a potential mate, how important is intelligence to you? Very. I like it best when our strengths lie in different yet compatible areas so we can constantly learn from each other.
*in a potential mate, how important is sense of humor to you? Necessary.
*in a potential mate, how important is understanding to you? Necessary.
*in a potential mate, how important is forgiveness to you? Necessary.
*what makes your heart flutter, and brings a bit cheesy smile to your face? His eyes.

makin' out
*what was your first kiss like? Nice.
*what parts of a person's body do you find most attractive? Depends on the person.
*what's the first thing you look at when you look at someone you're attracted to? Their face, especially the eyes and teeth.
*how important is the looks of a mate's face to you? I've got to find it attractive, although an attractive personality often makes the face attractive.
*how important is the looks of a mate's body to you? I have to find it reasonably attractive.
*when you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it, or the other? Usually the other.
*when you are about to kiss someone for the first time, do you generally feel calm, or are you nervous? Nervous.
*can you generally tell when the time is right for a first kiss to happen with your object of interest? Yes.
*what are your favorite places to be touched? It depends upon where I am and how I'm feeling.
*what are your favorite places to touch? Wherever he wants to be touched at the time.
*what are your favorite places to be kissed? My lips.
*what are your favorite places to kiss? The lips.
*do you prefer long sensual kisses or shorter pecks? I like both.
*have you ever kissed someone you longed for? Yes
*how did that make you feel? Mmmmmmm.... ;-)
*have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren't seriously involved with? Yes
*were you single at the time? Yes
*what are your ticklish areas? I'm not telling. :-)
*what are your turn-offs? Poor hygiene, being ridiculed, him pointing out some other gal he finds attractive.
*what do you most like about making out? The end result. ;-)

sex (there are a lot of action-specific questions I could ask, but I'll save those for the purity tests) (oh, and remember, all this is optional)
*are you a virgin? no
*if not, would you consider your first time to have been a good one? No.
*how old were you when you lost your virginity? I'd rather not say.
*have you ever had sex with someone you loved? Yes
*have you ever turned down an offer for sex? Yes
*if you are a virgin, how do you feel about sex? not applicable
*if you are a virgin, (rock on!), what are your reasons to stay that way? not applicable
*how much do you think sex changes a relationship? Depends on the relationship.
*has anyone ever walked in on you during love-making? No
*on a scale from 1 to 10 (10 being highest) how would you rate your sexual attractiveness? 3.
*on a scale from 1 to 10 (10 being highest) how would you rate your - *ahem* - kink factor? 1.
*how do you feel about casual sex? It's not for me, but if others want to do it, that's cool.
*at what level of importance does sex factor into your relationships? Low. If the guy puts sex up near the top, we don't have a relationship.
*how important is it to talk frankly about sex? With my partner, very; with my mother, not at all.
*would you stay with a lover if the love stopped, but the sex was still enjoyable? What's the point?
*would you stay with a lover if the sex stopped / got boring, but there was still love? Yes.

*do you believe in love? Yes
*do you believe in love at first sight? Yes, although I've never experienced it. I've "connected" on first sight, but that's different.
*what would it take for you to love someone? I have to be totally comfortable around them and care about them and vice-versa.
*has someone ever told you they loved you? Yes.
*have you ever told someone you loved them and meant it? Yes.
*have you ever told someone you loved them and not meant it? Yes; to protect my hide when I was in an abusive relationship.
*do you believe it's necessary to express your love in words, of is just the atmosphere and feelings enough? I prefer to say it as well as show it so there's no doubt.
*are you a monogamous person, or do you believe in open-ended realtionships? I'm "gag-me-with-a-tire-iron" monogamous.
*do you believe love can end, or do you think it never goes away, and just changes, or what? Love can end, especially if what you were in love with no longer exists.

*have you ever been married? Yes.
*how do you feel about marriage? I trust legal marriage, and I'm pissed that same sex couples can't get legally married, and I'm pissed that so many benefits are tied to legal marriage. I'm all for people marrying to show their commitment to each other, too.
*if you're currently not married, do you foresee yourself ever tying the knot? I hope so!
*do you plan on having children some day? Only if I'm married and still fertile.
*what are your feelings on polyamoury (an "open" marriage, aka swinging)? It's not for me.
*Do you feel that Bill Clinton's extramarital affairs were really the business of everyone else in the world? Not really.

*have you ever had your heart broken? Yes.
*have you ever been dumped? Yes.
*have you ever dumped someone? Yes.
*have you ever mutually broken up with someone? Yes.
*has a romantic companion ever made you cry? Yes.
*did you cry in their presence? Yes.
*did you cry with them? Yes.
*have you ever made a romantic companion cry? Yes.
*have you ever had an emotional pain so bad it made you sick or physically hurt? Yes.
*have you ever been unfaithful? if so, how did it make you feel? I've never been unfaithful.
*if so, did they find out? n/a.
*have you ever been cheated on? if so, how did it make you feel? I've been cheated on, and it made me feel like dirt. I consider cheating to be a major form of abuse.
*have you ever had to end a relationship due to life changes not related to romance (ie moving, strict parents, etc)? No.
*have you ever learned an important lesson as a result of a break up? No.

the aftermath
*have you ever gotten back together with someone after breaking up? No.
*did it work? n/a
*do you believe there's hope for people after they get back together, or do you think the same problems that caused the initial break-up will resurface? Depends upon the people, why they split, and how they evolved between the breakup and getting back together.
*have you ever broke up and remained friends afterward?Yes.
*have you ever broke up and became bitter enemies? Yes.
*if so, did you ever made amends? Only with one.
*have you ever broke up and lost touch? Yes.
*have you ever got back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication? Yes.
*were you afraid to do so? Yes
*do you ever check up on old flames (by asking mutual friends, for example), without actually contacting them? Yes.
*if you've ever lost touch or went sour with someone who you loved, how did it make you feel? Losing touch happens and doesn't bother me; going sour is awkward.
*have you ever longed to get back together with someone? Yes, but not since I met my current SO.
*although it surely depends of specific relationships, how long does it take before you're out looking for companionship again? I don't have a set amount of time. I was actively not looking when I started up with my current SO.

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