Lynn Gold (figmo) wrote,
Lynn Gold

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Sick, sick, sick

The world's a grosser place when I've got a sinus infection.

I don't know whether it's all the slime that keeps coming from my nose, the icky green loogies that keep coming out of my mouth, or the generally icky feeling, but yesterday seemed to be the pinnacle of grossness.

Yesterday I went through about half a box of tissues at the radio station. When I was a kid I used to measure the severity of my sinus infections by the number of boxes of tissues per day I'd use up. A really bad one would use up as many as three to four boxes a day; a moderately severe one would use up one to two. I go through less tissues nowadays, but I attribute that to better antihistamines and less activity on my part. I've noticed the more active I am, the more goo I spew, so I now try to be less active when I've got one of these.

I managed to get through eight hours at the radio station without spewing goo on anything other than tissues (there's a can of Lysol in the studio Just In Case for all of us). Warren and I agreed the best solution for dinner was my favorite Chinese place, Yat Sing 2, affectionately known as "Millie's." I've been eating at Millie's for over a decade and have never been poisoned there. Heck, I'm on a first-name basis with the owner. She sees me coming, and she immediately starts an order of pot stickers for every member of the party (hers are The Best). Dinner was to be delayed, though, as Warren had to get ready first.

I've been working on a dress that I plan on wearing New Year's Eve, but it came out a little small, so I went to J. C. Penney's to take advantage of their after-Christmas sale. First I grabbed two pairs of blue Dockers (I'd needed those anyway) at outlet-type prices, then went to the lingerie department to try on various forms of girdling.

First of all, I haven't done any serious girdling since my 1982 wedding, where I was smooshed in to within an inch of my life. This time, though, to wear this dress, I would need something. I picked out a few different types to try ranging from a small waist-cincher to an all-in-one piece sized for something similar to my bust size (they only had one a size smaller, but since my bras have been feeling loose, I figured I'd try it).

First the waist-cincher. It worked okay. It corseted my middle neatly, but there was a sudden bulge of fatness below it. Next, the combination girdle and waist cincher. That one did okay except for the bulge of fat over the top just under my bustline. I decided against it when I realized I wouldn't be able to go to the bathroom with that thing on (what were they thinking?).

Next, I tried the all-in-one. This had a hook-and-eye closure on the bottom so you could go to the bathroom. The trick, though, was getting into it. I tried entering it by pulling it up from the bottom. That didn't work, so I unhooked the bottom and put it over my head. As it reached my neck, I smelled something really gross. It was the B. O. smell of someone else who had tried on this same garment. Eeeuw. I knew I was in for a rough time.

Getting the garment on took about five minutes. Getting the bottom hooks and eyes closed was...impossible. Getting out of it took ten to fifteen minutes, as I first struggled to get it over my head (the waist-cinching part is what makes it impossible), then finally wound up pulling it downward to get out of it.

At this point I decided the waist-cincher and a standard girdle were the way to go, but the only girdles they had were in sizes bigger than I already am (XL, 1X, 2X, 3X, and 4X). I figured I'd go to one of the outlets and pick up a standard girdle from elsewhere and be okay. Besides, the store was closing.

Dinner was excellent. I actually managed to make it through without sliming my food, although I went through all my tissues and the paper napkin on the table. I tipped more than 20% to make up for the icky mess I left behind.

Now I'm up because I woke up to a mound of slimy goo bursting out of my nose. It's time for another dose of my meds, and this is my body's way of reminding me.

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