FIGMOdizzy: So...how 'bout them [insert your favorite sports team here]?
PenfLaptop: FIGMOdizzy: they'll never win the [insert major competition still undecided this season] unless [overpaid player] gets off his ass and actually [does whatever he's paid for]
Dan_ofc_nauseam: But they're still the best club in [your state name here]
Sherman: I'm rooting for (your club's name here). I'm worshipping (your club's name here)...
PenfLaptop: Dan_ofc_nauseam: not that that;s hard, because [other team] can't [inset basic mechanic of sport in question] to save their lives.
FIGMOdizzy: How can you possibly worship [your club's name here] when [my club's name here] keeps beating the snot out of them?
Sherman: Popcorns okay, I can gobble all day but will cheer just for (your club's name here).
FIGMOdizzy: Don't forget to dress in [your team's colors]!
Dan_ofc_nauseam: Argh. I can't respond to Lynn's last comment because [my club name here] still leads the league in drug busts
FIGMOdizzy: Heh. [my club's name here] leads the league in attempted rapes and DUIs.
FIGMOdizzy: OTOH, [another club's name here] has the most tattoos per player.
PenfLaptop: FIGMOdizzy: Because I've been a fan of [my club's name here] since I was born, unlike you fairweather [you clubs name here] fans who only support them cuase they winb
Sherman: But [my club's name here] wins because we support them.
FIGMOdizzy: Sherman: [Your club's name here] only won their last three games because the other teams' top players were out sick.
Dan_ofc_nauseam: Of course there's also [yet another club name here], who lead the league in seizing defeat from the jaws of victory
Sherman: The other team's top players were out sick of heart.
FIGMOdizzy: Yeah. [Yet another club name here] kept having players get penalized for [whatever it is players get penalized for in that sport] and suspended several games.
Sherman: But [another club's name here] hit [number] for [number] yesterday, which hasn't happened in, oh, at least [number] years.
PenfLaptop: Sherman: sure, but [the club they were playing] couldn't [game mechanic] their way out of a paper bag, so that statistic is hardly as meaningful as when [famous team of legend] did it against [all time hero] back in the [golden age of sport in question]
Dan_ofc_nauseam: NTM that [opponent's leading player] was on the bench with [injury].
FIGMOdizzy: [Opponent's leading player] wouldn't have had that injury if he hadn't stupidly [insert stupid but typical play from the appropriate sport here].
Sherman: That was an error of comission and a perfectly understandable judgment call made when [flying object of sport] is coming from [direction]. An error of omission is when [star player in question] forgot to tell his probation officer afterwards.
FIGMOdizzy: [Opponent's leading player] shouldn't have aimed the [flying object of sport] at [player of home team]!
PenfLaptop: Except that [other star player] pulls the same play off week in week out. [Star player] is just an overhyped [other star player] wannabe.
Dan_ofc_nauseam: [Opponent's coach] has been encouraging [stupid but typical play] since [event signifying the memory of man runneth not to the contrary]
Sherman: [Other star player] is clearly past his prime because [coach] sat him [off-field location] when he [committed an atrocious error that a 3-year-old wouldn't make].
PenfLaptop: and it doesn't help that [opponent's coach] is too blind not to see this.
Sherman: But the [sport's officials] were blind themselves for not noticing [violation of the rules].
FIGMOdizzy: Okay, that's it! I'm swearing off [your sport's name here]!
Sherman: That's what you said last week, before you watched [your club's name here] snuff it against [other team at the bottom of the league rankings]!
Dan_ofc_nauseam: The [officials] never call [violation] except when committed by [league's leading loudmouth]
FIGMOdizzy: Oh, come ON! You know the only reason [my club's name here] lost was because the two key players were both suspended for [whatever kind of action causes them to get suspended]!
FIGMOdizzy: They wouldn't have been suspended, either, had the referee called the [offending play] correctly!
Dan_ofc_nauseam: Nah, if they had two brain cells between them, they wouldn't have been [extraordinary violation]
