Irreparable invalid markup ('<lj-cut="stories>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]
Halloween sucked when I was a kid, but once I got on my own it <I>rocked</I>.
My best Halloween memories come from adulthood:<LJ-CUT="Stories of kick-ass costumes follow; work-safe"><UL><LI>When I was married, my husband forced me to dress in a "sexy" costume. I was a punk hooker. I was also a system administrator, and I had to interface with the folks working on our disk drive and our CPU wearing a tube top, <I>very</I> short mini-skirt, and high-heeled boots. The looks I got were, uh, interesting...</LI>
<LI>When I finally got on my own I decided I soooo did not want to do a "sexy" costume, so I came up with the most <I>un</I>-sexy thing I could think of: Tammy Faye Bakker. I did my homework. I went to the library. I checked out magazines with photos of her. This was when the Jim and Tammy scandal was at its peak, so people knew who she was. I grew my nails out (they <I>do</I> grow if I let them). That year I went to a Halloween party held by a long-time friend and was chatting with him:
"So where are you working?" he asked.
"I'm at CSI these days," I replied.
"Oh. Do you know Lynn Gold?" he asked.
"I <I>am</I> Lynn Gold."
"Oh. My. God!" He doubled over, fell back about three feet, and put his hands over his face in shock and embarassment.
The next day I went to another long-time friend's party. I entered, and he said, "Excuse me, ma'am, but I think you've got the wrong party."
I replied, "Shane -- it's <I>me</I>."
Every head turned. Mouths dropped. They soooo did not recognize me till I spoke.</LI>
<LI>I was "Dorothy" from the "Wizard of Oz" and Fuzzball was "Toto." Sort of. Making a Bichon Frise look like a Cairn Terrier doesn't work well, so I instead let her hair grow out and tamped it into a mohawk using hair spray, and then sprayed bright colored paints on it. She wore a collar with 1" spikes. A local tabloid was looking for people dressed in really good Halloween costumes and photographed us for their "Phantom of the Office" article with a big smile on her face.
Later that day the company had its costume contest judging. <I>I</I> didn't win anything; the <I>bitch</I> won 2nd place! I was miffed until I learned Fuzzball's prize was a $50.00 bill. I had her walk into the CFO's office and "beg" for it. :-)</LI>
<LI>A couple of years later I was working at NASA and had a business lunch on Halloween. I then had to go to school where all of us were planning on dressing up for radio news lab. I needed a costume that didn't require special make-up and wanted something as far off-type as I could get. Since I was known for having a "gutter mouth" back then, I decided upon "Big Bird" from "Sesame Street." That costume was so big the top half had to ride in the front passenger seat of my car. I had to sneak in the back entrance of the building with the costume in tow, slip into it with minimal help, and then time my Grand Entrance into the radio news lab to coincide with the start of class.
I walked in wearing this 7' high costume (<I>lots</I> of foam rubber and feathers) and the whole place burst out laughing. I was the engineer that afternoon, so whenever I wanted to crack up one of my classmates, all I had to do was put Big Bird's head up next to me on the console.
The one "gotcha" with Big Bird was the peepholes were really tiny. I went to a party that night where the entry was dark and had a cloth covering it. It took me nearly five minutes to find my way in, but when I did it was to massive applause.</LI>
<LI>The next year I decided to try doing the Energizer Bunny. That costume, like Tammy Faye, has paid for itself over the years. I cannibalized a bathrobe pattern, added a light pink fake fur oval in front, made legs on the side and stuffed them with pillow forms, and used foam, black cloth, and ribbon to make the sandals. The drum came from a kiddie drum kit I cannibalized, and the pom-poms for the drumsticks came from a toy store that was selling them. I used wire coat-hangers to make the ears stand up, and I bought a pair of oversized sunglasses from a humor store. I even made an oversized NASA ID badge for "E Bunny" with a pawprint for the signature. The badge freaked out a few security folks, but most others were amused. I have used the Bunny costume at several other jobs; it <I>always</I> wins First Place in costume contests, even when I'm not trying.</UL>As for tonight, I'm handing out balloons to the kiddies (kids love 'em, ants don't). I have my ugly Halloween light in the kitchen window (by the front door), and I'm toying with entering the "E Bunny" costume in a contest tonight to win some extra money.