First, the list of ten "facts" about me, four of which are false:
My first job outside of my home was as a fashion model.
I used to like to eat dog food as a child.
I worked at the New York Jets summer training camp.
I have never been paid to appear on television.
I used to smoke when I was in my teens.
Barbra Streisand, Eddie Money, the Kingston Trio, and I have all had the same voice teacher.
I have sung backup for Harry Chapin.
I was once arrested for shoplifting.
I was once apprehended by security in Madison Square Garden.
I used to work for NASA.
My first job outside of my home was as a fashion model. True. I was hired sight-unseen to model teen clothes for Pomeroy's, a department store in Willingboro, NJ. Once they saw what I looked like, I was never asked back.
I used to like to eat dog food as a child. False. I won't even eat stew because that's what my paternal grandmother used to feed the dog.
I worked at the New York Jets summer training camp. True. I did it for two summers. My job was to make sure no women got up to the Jets' rooms in the dorm in which they were staying.
I have never been paid to appear on television. True (sigh). I'm hoping to rectify the situation someday. I've only done not-for-pay TV work.
I used to smoke when I was in my teens. False (eeeuw). Are you nuts???!? I'm allergic to tobacco smoke!
Barbra Streisand, Eddie Money, the Kingston Trio, and I have all had the same voice teacher. True. Her name was Judy Davis, and she taught out of a little studio in the Rockridge section of Oakland, CA.
I have sung backup for Harry Chapin. True. It was in 1976. He was doing a benefit at Hofstra University. During the song "Cat's in the Cradle," he first had all the audience, then the men, then the women each sing the chorus. During the all-women chorus, something happened where my voice "kicked in" and it was as if the entire room was backing me up. A little while later Harry asked for four volunteers to sing backup on "Mr. Tanner" with him. A bunch of us raised our hands. He pointed to me and called out, "You, with the good voice, come on up!" I also got to sing backup on "Circle."
I was once arrested for shoplifting. False. Very false. I've never shoplifted anything, so it's kind of hard to get arrested for something you've never done.
I was once apprehended by security in Madison Square Garden. True. It relates back to #3. Every night at midnight, the security guard would come by to lock up the dorm where the players stayed. One night the guard, one of the quarterbacks (whose name, alas, I have long forgotten), and I stood around for an hour or so swapping Polish and dead baby jokes.
Around a year and a half or two years later I was at a computer show at Madison Square Garden with my friend Victor, who was from Russia. The security guard stopped us at the entrance. "I've got another Polish joke for ya!" It was the same security guard from the dorm at the Jets' training camp, and he remembered me!
After that I had to explain to Victor the significance of Polish jokes in American culture.
I used to work for NASA. False. That was a trick question. I have worked at NASA, but never for NASA. I spent around a year working for a NASA subcontractor at the NASA Ames facility.