Lynn Gold (figmo) wrote,
Lynn Gold

  • Mood:

Not Charlie's Angels

I couldn't sleep this evening, so I figured I'd work. Warren heard me stirring and called me over. "You're not going to believe what's going on in here right now," he said. I figured he was calling me over to watch Lady lie on her back.

Instead, he led me into the den where he had the TV tuned to TVLand on the DISH satellite. Warren had tuned to the channel to watch "Charlie's Angels." What he saw could be titled "Charlie's Angles."

Someone at the satellite company had switched the feed so instead it was showing the TON channel. Suffice it to say "TON" is not family fare. Heck, the activities those folks were engaged in couldn't even make a family.

First we saw a naked het couple screwing, then two women engaged in activity, then women dancing with guys wearing ceramic masks, then two-on-one. When the guys had the masks on they were as intelligible as "Darth Vader" clone in "Hardware Wars."

Our running dialogue went something like this:

W: Is that a cock ring or a condom?
L: It's a condom.
W: Oh yeah. It's smooth all the way up.
L: That's because they don't have any pubic hair.
W: Lady probably wants to come in because they're doing it "doggie style."
L: I think we're watching "Charlie's Angles."
W: This isn't the "Sunday Night Sex Show." Listen to this dialogue...if you can call it that.
L: What is that?
W: I thought it was a woman, but it's a guy wearing a mask.
L: Take the mask off; I can't understand you!
W: I think it's called "menage a trois" because I learned about it on the "Sunday Sex Show." That's when they do it with two hot dogs and no mustard.
L: I don't see any buns in that shot, either.
W: Are they charging you for this?
L: Hand me the remote and I'll check.

I pressed the "Info" button.

L: The DISHplayer thinks we're watching "Dick Van Dyke."

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